Colin & Noelle

Colin & Noelle


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Friday, March 29, 2013

Unexpected Changes.

 It's been nearly two months since our last post. Here's why...


First.  It has been a busy couple of months. I was sick for nearly 2 weeks. Then, as I was starting to feel better, we found out that Colin would be leaving a few weeks later for a month+ of training, out of state. So we spent some time preparing for that. Then last minute, he was diagnosed with a (relatively minor) health issue, which meant he couldn't leave for training. Two days prior to his departure date. I was also busy helping with planning a fundraiser our agency. We had thing after thing. Did I mention that this was also the time I thought it would be a good idea to take a 6 week hiatus from coffee?!  ;)

Second. I have a lot that I would like to say. But I know it doesn't need to come out all at once, and it shouldn't come out before it's ready. I really needed a season to reflect. (If you knew me growing up, or talk with me in person on a regular basis, you might find yourself shocked at this statement!)

Third. Our household has undergone some big changes. Although we've known about this for 3 weeks, I haven't felt ready to write about it. I didn't really know how or what to say. So here goes...

For the past two weeks, we have temporarily taken in a young pre-teen girl who is in transition. She was adopted internationally a few years ago, and due to a variety of reasons, her parents, therapist, social workers, and adoption agency staff have all decided that she needs a new home that can better suit her needs. While her new family is preparing their home study to adopt her, she needs a place to stay for a few weeks or so. For privacy issues, I won't give any more details for now. But having her stay with us is a big change and has completely altered our family dynamics. I can't not mention it. It's a hard update to ignore. Everything is different. And I can't begin to explain how much I've learned about myself in this process. I'm experiencing first-hand the things we were told to expect in our home study education. It's crazy. It's unreal. And most days, I am thoroughly exhausted -- but for good reason. This has been an amazing experience. We feel so blessed to be able to meet her needs for the time being.

Let me say one final thing on this subject. I understand that adoption disruption is a hot topic. It is easy to find yourself judging why a family would adopt, then disrupt the adoption and place the child elsewhere. But we have had the privilege of getting to know this young girl's family, some family friends, and some of the social workers they have been working with. Please, do not pass judgment if you have never been in this situation. It is not a decision they came to lightly, or because they don't care for her deeply. Parents in this situation often carry so much guilt and shame, as you can probably imagine. It is not up to you to decide if this is the "right" choice. I just ask that if you see us and this young girl, that you reach out to her in love. Don't pry. Don't stare. Just love her. And pray for her parents, as their hearts are hurting for a daughter they so desperately love -- to the point of finding her a home that will help her thrive and grow as needed. I understand this situation is unheard of to most of you. I understand it is hard to grasp. I am not saying this is "no big deal". I'm simply asking that you  allow your questions and concerns to compel you towards showing grace and compassion -- not judgment and condemnation.

Thank you for your patience with us these past two months. I never saw us here. In fact, I had mapped out how I wanted to spend this month to keep busy while Colin was supposed to be away. Most of that went out the window. Real quick. But I'm learning things so imperative to my growth -- things that I couldn't have learned from "organizing my recipes" and "getting in shape" and "stocking up on freezer meals". But God knows what I need before I do. My plans are not always His. For that, I am eternally grateful.

  
"Many are the plans in a person’s heart,
    but it is the Lord’s purpose that prevails."
-Proverbs 19:21